World Outside My Shoes - Carl Wilkens

Unless you've been away on a silent meditation retreat, you've surely heard about (if not seen) KONY 2012, the short documentary by non-profit Invisible Children's cofounder Jason Russell. Posted to YouTube on March 5, it is considered the most viral video of all time, having garnered a spectacular 56 million views in just four days and generating hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations on the first day alone.

After seeing a multitude of posts on Facebook, I sat down two weeks ago to view the film myself. I was horrified by the story Russell told of Lord's Resistance Army leader Joseph Kony's merciless preying upon innocent children in Uganda and, more recently, the Democratic Republic of Congo and South Sudan. For decades, the warlord has been kidnapping boys to serve as soldiers in his militia and forcing girls to be sex slaves. Invisible Children and the UN War Crimes Tribunal want Kony captured and brought to justice.

But as I was celebrating Invisible Children's accomplishment, I began to notice the comments flowing in from other YouTube users. Many of them were attacks along the lines of: "Warning: fraud" and "This does nothing to help!" (Comments on the video have since been disabled.) I felt shocked and disturbed by the vehemence of people's hateful remarks.

In the days that followed, I read numerous tweets and several blogs accusing Russell and Invisible Children of simplifying the situation in Uganda, misusing funds, perpetuating the idea that helplessAfricans need Westerners to save them, and encouraging "slacktivism."

Again, the vindictiveness of the attacks bothered me. For nine years, Invisible Children has been raising awareness of a horrendous problem — and the funds to fix it. What's there to hate about that?

Thankfully, several famous people leapt to the organization's defense, including Nicholas Kristof of The New York Times and Bono. But the whole episode left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I couldn't stop turning this question over in my mind:

Why is it that people love to be haters?

I awoke at 3 a.m. with an idea bouncing around the walls of my brain like a ping-pong ball. I turned on my bedside lamp and began scribbling notes in my journal. My husband Kiran grumbled, "What are you doing, my love?" When I told him, he said, "Well, it's not like being a hater is anything new. I've been reading the biography of Cleopatra. People loved to hate on her, accusing her of being a slut and a whore. They attacked her vigorously because she was a powerful woman."

Then Kiran started singing "My Wave" by Soundgarden: "Hate, if you want to hate; if it keeps you safe; if it makes you brave."

So here is my thought: "Hateration" (as Mary J. Blige so brilliantly labeled it in her hit song "Family Affair"), is an ego-driven response to shame: our feelings that we haven't lived up to our own standards, and that therefore we aren't good enough. As a result, other people's success, efforts, and good deeds make us feel smaller. When we have that gut-level, animalistic reaction of wanting to hate on something, it means we've triggered an area of self-loathing within ourselves. But most of the time, we're way too afraid to go there and admit what it is that we've done to disappoint ourselves. It's easier to blame others for our bad feelings and make it about their failures rather than our own.

Coincidentally, I watched Brene Brown's TED talk from February, which addresses the topic of shame. Brown calls shame "the swampland of the soul."

Shame, Brown tells us, is an epidemic — one that is highly correlated with addiction, aggression, depression, anxiety, suicide, and eating disorders. A little shame is a good thing; having it means we're not sociopaths. But shame can overwhelm us and put us in a straightjacket. It's the inner critic that says, "I'm a mistake." It keeps us from connecting deeply with others and achieving our goals.

The antidote to shame, according to Brown? Douse it with empathy and vulnerability (also the subject of her viral TEDxHouston talk). "Vulnerability is not weakness," says Brown. "It is our most accurate measurement of courage… It is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change." We need to be able to sit with each other in our fear and really listen. Vulnerability is key to living in a whole-hearted, joyful way.

I know this is the case because I have experienced it myself. When I was in my early 30s and going through my divorce, I found myself lashing out in anger at the world. I was pissed at my ex-husband, pissed at being the only one of my friends whose marriage hadn't worked out, pissed that I wasn't having children when I wanted them more than anything. I noticed how this anger — which stemmed directly from my shame about the divorce — tainted my reactions to people and events. It made me more likely to criticize, less likely to embrace with an open heart.

When I spoke with my therapist about this problem, she suggested: "Lead with your vulnerability." Such simple, powerful words. But I swear, adopting this mantra turned my life around. Instead of trying to hide my pain, I began revealing it openly. "I'm struggling," I'd say to my friends and family. "I need your support. This is a difficult time for me." And of course they were there for me, with love and compassion in abundance.

I grew so enamored of leading with my vulnerability that I started blogging about my trials and tribulations, first for Intent.com, now for The Huffington Post. "The Life Out Loud" is how I've branded my columns because I speak so freely about the lessons I learn by coming face-to-face with my fears and failures.

So, where does this leave us in terms of being haters?

Skepticism undoubtedly serves us well. We can't believe everything we see in the media, as evidenced byThis American Life's retraction this week of the Mike Daisey story attacking Apple for its horrific factory conditions in China. But we can express our criticisms and differences of opinion without hating on other people, ever. Especially when they're making heroic efforts on behalf of humanity.

The next time you feel the instinct to make a particularly harsh remark about another's work, pause and ask yourself where that response is coming from. Instead of lashing out, turn inward. Can you connect your anger or righteous indignation to your own shame? If so, what might it feel like to sit with that pain? Or even better, to share it with someone you trust?

Finally, take a step back and appreciate what this person or organization or nation that is troubling you is trying to accomplish in the first place. It takes a great deal of courage to make a video or write a blog, and far more to follow your passion and make a difference in the world, stand up for your beliefs, enact change. Have you accomplished anything like what Jason Russell has, running a non-profit for nine years? It isn't necessary to take such radical action to feel good about yourself, but you can stop hating and start being inspired.

KONY 2012 For any of you who may not have seen

Carl — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 08:16:31 +0000

For any of you who may not have seen this yet

(in the first 2 weeks +/- 100 million people watched it),

please take the time. I don't have time

to say more at this moment…Thanks Carl

Check out both links

http://www.kony2012.com/

Watch here if you don't get it above

KONY 2012

Off to Rwanda

Carl — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 05:02:59 +0000

The sun chased me to Seattle early this morning, first leg of Rwanda trip. Arrived in DC at Dulles tonight. In the morning I'll be meeting the group I'm going with this time – Theater students from Buffalo State College and their fabulous professor Drew Kahn – some of you will remember Drew from last January when he and I visited Rwanda, Drew wrote these amazing blogs on that trip! Buffalos theater department is serious about addressing social justice issues through theater and they want their students to experience Rwanda. More tomorrow! Got to crash now:) best, Carl

2011 copies of Im not leaving in December

Carl — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 00:26:41 +0000

Need YOur Help!!!

http://www.livestream.com/worldoutsidemyshoes/video?clipId=pla_898eadfc-1c71-4d7d-b7b4-5c89bbc747d8&utm_source=lslibrary&utm_medium=ui-thumb

2011 books in December!! This is A big ONE!!! We have set a goal for the month of December of getting 2011 copies of the book I'm Not Leaving into the hands of people you want to share the story with. We think together we all can do this by the end of 2011!!! - We are already over 200 books and we haven't even announced it on facebook yet! Well now we have:) We will send out event invitations sunday – just wanted to give you a heads up – maybe you want to start donordering (donate+ordering) early?? http://worldoutsidemyshoes.org/im-not-leaving-book

1. For a suggested donation of $16 we will send you 1 book

2. For a suggested donation of $40 we will send you 3 books

3. For a suggested donation of $70 we will send you 6 books

4. And for a suggested donation of $320 we will send you 40 books!

KINDLE : I’M NOT LEAVING available

Carl — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:15:22 +0000

KINDLE : I'M NOT LEAVING is now available

on Kindle – only $4.99 -introductory

offer. Click here

Please feel free to put a review on Amazon:)

Watch “I’m Not Leaving” Online

Carl — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 22:43:21 +0000

The Play is now available to watch online. click here and then Click on "The Anne Frank Project" in the left column. Then select "I'm Not Leaving–World Premier"–

I’m Not Leaving – The Play

Carl — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 00:21:35 +0000

Carl & I are in Buffalo, NY right now at the invitation of the Buffalo State Theatre Department who produced a play based on Carl's book, "I'm Not Leaving". If you haven't seen the book yet, it's based on the cassette tapes that Carl recorded during the 100 days that he was in Kigali, Rwanda during the 1994 genocide. And if you don't yet have a copy of the book and would like one, you can get one by making a donation to World Outside My Shoes athttp://worldoutsidemyshoes.org/im-not-leaving-book.

The play's premier performance will be Wednesday night at 8:00 p.m. (Buffalo, NY time) as part of the Anne Frank Project event taking place on the Buffalo State College campus this week.

You can watch the play live online 8pm eastern time at:http://theannefrankproject.com/ where you will then click on the "2011 AFP Conference Live Stream" line under the "Welcome" heading. Once you click on that line you will see several events and the list will grow longer in the coming days. Streaming for the conference starts at 9am eastern time Wed. Sept. 14. Below is a schedule of all the events that will be streamed live during the 3-day conference.

Anne Frank Conference

schedule of events that will be streamed live online.

WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 14, 2011

9:00-10:50 AM OPENING CEREMONY Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

Welcome: Dr. Aaron Podolefsky- President, Buffalo State College

AFP 2011: Looking Inward: Drew Kahn- Director, The Anne Frank Project

Keynote Speaker: Hope Azeda

Panel Discussion- Employing the Arts For Social Justice:

Hope Azeda- Mashirika Creative and Performing Arts Group

Carole Karemera- ISHYO Performing Arts Center

Nadia Nikwaya- ISHYO Performing Arts Center

Gary Wolfe- Artist

11:00-11:50 AM Carl Wilkens Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

A Dialogue with Carl Wilkens

1:00-1:50 PM Sophia Veffer Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

From Bullying to Hate Crimes, to the Holocaust, to Genocide: Can The Anne Frank Project Change a Bystander Into an Involved Citizen?

The Anne Frank Project offers an analytical approach to the causes of discrimination, hate crimes, the Holocaust and Genocides through the words of Anne Frank and lessons learned from the history of societies, where annihilation of large segments of the civilian populations became the norm of justice and government policies. Every genocide, including the Holocaust, requires three groups of participants: The Victims, The Perpetrators and the Bystanders. Of the three groups, the Bystanders are the most dangerous and the most numerous, because they enable the Perpetrators to commit these crimes.

Using Anne Frank’s words, we educate young people from kindergarten through college that discrimination and hate crimes are detrimental in achieving a peaceful Global Society. Our Shared Humanity Has No Room for Bystanders.

3:30-4:00 PM Emily Michel Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

MY NAME IS HATE

HRC Art and Writing Contest Best in Show, Emily Michel will read her award winning poem, followed a short discussion with the participants.

Introduced by: Lillian Gerstman- Holocaust Resource Center

THE ANNE FRANK PROJECT OUR SHARED HUMANITY:LOOKING INWARD

4:00-5:10 PM Andrew Beiter and Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

Springville Students for Human Rights

Ripples of Hope: Profiles of People Who Have Changed the World

The students will perform monologues, music, dance and poetry, all of which is designed to inspire their audience to repair the world. The piece performed by Springville Middle and High School students recreates the lives of historic and current human rights defenders.

5:15-7:15 PM Dr. Ricky Fleming Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

A Soldier’s Tale

“A Soldier Tale” or Histoire du Soldat was written in 1918 to be read, played and danced, set to music by Igor Stravinsky. The original story was based on a Russian folk tale, written in French by the Swiss writer C.F. Ramuz. The libretto was about a soldier who trades his fiddle to the devil for a book that could predict the future. However, this performance will feature a later version of the libretto that is set in World War II. This version written by Kurt Vonnegut, chronicles the arrest, court martial and execution of an American soldier named Eddie Solvik. Eddie Solvik refused to take part in the war as he felt that it was hazardous to his health. The story really shows what lengths a person will go to stand up for what he or she believes in, even if it means death. The music was written for a septet as to compensate for the lack of players available during World War I.

7:15-8:00 PM Carl Wilkens Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

A Dialogue with Carl Wilkens author of I’m Not Leaving

8:00-10:00 PM Joseph Price Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

Ensemble Theater Class

I’m Not Leaving WORLD PREMIER

I’m Not Leaving, World Premier is a play based on a manuscript of the same title by Carl Wilkens. Mr. Wilkens was the only American to remain in Rwanda during the 1994 genocide. The Ensemble Theatre class has devised a theater piece based on the manuscript that looks at the genocide through the lens of Carl’s experience. The piece is presented with the hope that the understanding the audience and performers reach, might lead to a more just and tolerant world where genocide and exclusion have no place. The play seeks to create a bond between the audience and Carl. If the audience is moved by Carl’s acts of heroism and develops a relationship with Carl through his story perhaps we can live the words of Anne Frank: “Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.”

THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

9:00-10:30 AM Panel Discussion Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

Defining the Role of Social Justice

Ronnie Podolefsky

Sophia Veffer- Holocaust Resource Center

10:50AM-12:05PM Carl Wlikens Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

A Dialogue with Carl Wilkens

1:40-2:55 PM Dr. Charles Bachman Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

Love and Cohesion versus Hatred and Enmity in Native American Traditional Stories

Dr. Bachman will tell three Native American traditional stories. Each of the stories relates to the title and the importance of caritas, charity within a community. A discussion will follow each story asking the participants what ethical/spiritual lessons can be gleaned from the tale.

“The Enemy

“Poia” (Scarface) "

“Hodadenon, or the Last One Left”

3:00-5:00 Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

of Erie and Niagara Counties, Inc.

UNSEEN TEARS

Native American families in Western New York continue to feel the impact of the Thomas Indian School and the Mohawk Institute. Survivors speak of traumatic separation from their families, abuse, and a systematic assault on their language and culture. Western New York Native American communities are presently attempting to heal the wounds and break the cycle inter-generational trauma resulting from the boarding school experience. Unseen Tears documents testimonies of boarding school survivors, their families, and social service providers.

5:00-6:00 PM Panel Discussion Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall The American Experience

Peter Hill- Native American Community Service of Erie and Niagara Counties

Michael Martin- Native American Community Service of Erie and Niagara Counties

Raul Neira- Associate Professor, Modern and Classical Languages, Buffalo State College

Ruchatneet Printup- Native American Community Services of Erie and Niagara Counties

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 16, 2011

9:00- 10:50 AM Panel Discussion- Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

Expressing Community

Victor Habinshuti-

Michele Ninacs- College Writing Program, Buffalo State College

Deborah Renzi- Social Work Department, Buffalo State College

12:00-1:30 PM Ntare Ali Gault Warren Enters Theatre- Upton Hall

Erika Haygood

Njozi Poets

The Njozi Poets have been performing throughout the country for over 12 years inspiring audiences.

“ I simply can’t build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery and death…I think….peace and tranquility will return again.” Anne Frank. This quote expresses the hope that whatever confusion or turmoil one may experience, peace is still possible. Erika Haygood, witnessed the 9/11 terrorist attacks in 2001. As brutal as the attack was Ms. Haygood birthed poetry of hope.

Ntare Ali Gault uses his real life family stories, weaving them into poetry that people of all backgrounds can relate to. Using both of his grandmothers’ stories, his poetry connects historical narratives to present challenges today. Taken together, the poets presentations will undoubtedly stimulate an open discussion with audience members and provide a forum where peace and tranquility can truly commence.

AT THIS POINT i DON'T THINK THE CLOSING CEREMONIES WILL BE STEAMED ONLINE AS THEY ARE TAKING PLACE OUTSIDE IN THE MAIN SQUARE

List of Recommended Books and Films

Carl — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 23:54:39 +0000

Recommended Books:

A Problem from Hell: America and the Age of Genocide, by Samantha Power
From 1993-1996 Samantha Power covered the grisly events in Bosnia and Srebrenica, becoming increasingly frustrated with the United States and their inability to counteract the genocide. “The United States had never in its history intervened to stop genocide and had in fact rarely even made a point of condemning it as it occurred.”

Becoming Evil: How Ordinary People Commit Genocide and Mass Killing, by James E. Waller
From the Turks’ massacre of Armenians in 1915 through the Serbians’ slaughter of Bosnian and Albanian Muslims during the 1990s, the 20th century was an era of mass killing. Social psychologist Waller develops a four-layered theory of how everyday citizens became involved.

Blood and Soil: A World History of Genocide from Sparta to Darfur, by Ben Kiernan
Humans have been slaughtering each other for thousands of years, but only now is the field of genocide studies blooming. This grim account of history notes remarkable parallels in the patterns of mass slaughter, from Carthage to Darfur.

Guns, Germs and Steel, by Jared Diamond
The book asks and attempts to answer the question, once human kind spread throughout the world, why did differ populations in different locations have such different histories? The modern world ha been shaped by conquest, epidemics and genocide, the ingredients of which rose first in Eurasia. The book’s premise is that those ingredients required the development of agriculture.

Mobilizing the Will to Intervene: Leadership to Prevent Mass Atrocities, by Frank Chalk, Romeo Dallaire, Kyle Matthews, Karla Barqueiro, and Simon Doyle
The recurrences of genocide and crimes against humanity around the world demonstrate that the international community has been largely ineffective in stopping mass atrocities. Drawing on interviews with 80 key figures involved in American and Canadian responses to the Rwandan genocide and the Kosovo crisis, the book explains why and provides a roadmap for change.

Preventing Genocide: Practical Steps toward Early Detection and Effective Action, by David A.Hamburg
Analyzes the problem of mass violence, describes pillars of prevention, and concludes that focal points of knowledge and skill in prevention are essential to identify warnings and to prepare and propose appropriate responses before a genocide begins. It recommends the establishment of international genocide prevention centers in strong institutions and outlines their tasks.

State of Darkness: US Complicity in Genocides Since 1945, by David Model
The thesis of State of Darkness is that the United States is either guilty of or complicit in eight genocides since 1945. Two different levels of guilt were defined in the Genocide Convention, one depending on whether a country is directly responsible for genocide and the other, complicity, on whether it contributed in some significant way to the commission of genocide.

The Responsibility to Protect-Ending Mass Atrocity Crimes Once and For All, by Gareth Evans
R2P was unanimously adopted by the UN General Assembly in 2005. Many misunderstandings persist about its scope and limits. Much remains to be done to solidify support and to build capacity. Evans posits how R2P, with its acceptance in principle and effective application in practice, the promise of “never again” can become a reality.

Worse Than War: Genocide, Eliminationism, and the Ongoing Assault on Humanity, by Daniel Jonah Goldhagen
Worse Than War gets to the heart of the phenomenon, genocide, that has caused more deaths in the modern world than military conflict. In doing so, it challenges fundamental things we thought we knew about human beings, society, and politics.

Recommended Films:

Screamers
The film a 2006 documentary by director Carla Garapedian examines repeating pattern of genocide, from the Armenian genocide, to the Holocaust, Cambodia, Bosnia, Rwanda, up to Darfur today.

The Last Survivor
This disturbing group portrait of Dachau’s modern-day residents is a Holocaust book unlike any other. American journalist Timothy Ryback, whose Austrian heritage includes a distant relative in the SS and a Nazi-sympathizing grandfather, depicts the wide range of perspectives held by those who live in the German town best known for being the site of a concentration camp.

Worse Than War
Goldhagen is convinced that the overall phenomenon of genocide is as poorly understood as the Holocaust had once been. How and why do genocides start? Why do the perpetrators kill? Why has intervention rarely occurred in a timely manner? These and other thought-provoking questions are explored in this documentary film.

Compiled by Paulina Robles and Barbara English of Orange County for Darfur and Martina Knee of the San Francisco Bay Area Darfur Coalition.

22 Minutes Today

Carl — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 16:03:51 +0000

Raindrops Over Rwanda –

Just 22 minutes of your day today – Today is the day the

genocide in Rwanda officially ended — Maybe you could

watch during lunch hour with colleagues – To honor

those who were taken from us and raise funds for the

Kigali Memorial center –http://www.snagfilms.com/films ?/title/raindrops_over_rwanda/

Thanks Carl

From Zanna Gilbert:

Please watch the free documentary,Raindrops Over Rwanda, on July 18, 2011 and help raise $50,000 (donated by Explore.org) for the Kigali Memorial Centre, funding crucial education programs for school children. Honor the victims of genocide. Help the survivors heal and build a lasting peace.

Spread the word to your audience via Facebook, Twitter and blog.

When: Monday, July 18, 2011

What: Watch Raindrops Over Rwanda

Where:www.snagfilms.com/films/title/raindrops_over_rwanda/

Why: Because you care about preventing genocide

Thank you for the important work you do to promote peace and champion human rights.

Sincerely,

Zanna Gilbert